What a Week

Wednesday was the big court day for the boys we were keeping. Their parents wanted them placed with their grandmother, so she had to go through all of the background checks and home studies that everyone else does. On Wed. the judge was going to decide if they stayed with us until their parents finished their case plan, which could take up to a year, or live with their grandmother. By 4:00 Wed. afternoon I hadn't heard anything, so I assumed they were staying. We had really gotten used to them being here. Life was very hectic, but we had all settled into somewhat of a schedule, and they had began forming an attachment to us. I checked the messages on my answering machine when we all got home from school , and the social worker had called there instead of my cell phone. They were going to live with their grandmother. My oldest sons first response was, "Well that's a bad idea." On some level I absolutely agree. On some level I know being with their family, who(m) they had lived with on various occasions before, is a good thing for them since they are so young. Needless to say, the rest of the day was fairly emotional. We had to bring them back to DFACS on Thurs. at their normal visitation time. That was hard. We had worked very hard at getting the baby on a schedule, getting the 2 year old off of his pacifier, and really giving them some sort of stability. The left me better off than they came, which was my job. When the 2 year old came to us, he had quite a vocabulary, but knew nothing a 2 year old should know. When he left, he knew his birthday, a few colors, and most of all, how to sing preschool songs. He learned how to just be a kid. Is all of that going to fall by the wayside by being back in his old environment? Some probably, but I just have to believe that in some way we were able to make an impact on his life. Because they are so young, only eternity will tell, which is the very frustrating part of this job. Am I really doing good here? Bets are being taken by many on how long it wil be before they are back with us though.

I took my youngest daughter to tea for her birthday ( and to comfort myself) after we dropped off the boys. She is turning the big 4. 4 is a milestone birthday, because when you turn 4 you can sleep in your own bed all night, not with your mom. We all had a nice quiet afternoon being just our family, all wondering when we might be called on again and doing the best we could to process our emotions. I went to bed, looking forward to a full nights sleep, and had just fallen asleep when the phone rang. I looked at the clock, 10:30. Well, that means one of two things :someone in my family has had an emergency, or it's DFACS. It was option 2. They had just picked up 2 children, could I take them? The older one was a little older than I felt comfortable taking, so I told them to keep trying but call me back if they couldn't find anyone. They called back at 11:30. She said people weren't even answering their phones anymore. I told her they could definitely stay the night if she could try to find alternate placement for at least the older one the next day. I could keep the baby( he's 1) if they couldn't place them together. So two children arrived at my house at 1:00 in the morning. My children of course had no idea this was going on, so were quite surprised when they woke up. My 4 year olds first response upon seeing the baby was "Is their another one?" My seven year old said, " he has a little tan doesn't he?" Yes he does. Waking up and finding 2 strange children in their house didn't phase any of them. Which let's me know they are fine with all of this. DFACS was able to find a better placement for the older child. My son didn't understand why I didn't want to keep her. I told him that some kids had problems that I wasn't really equipped to handle and we weren't the right family for everyone. She needed a lot of attention and would be much happier being the oldest of 3 kids rather than 4th of 6. I belive there is a right place for everyone and I really prayed that the Lord would send her to the perfect place for her. I could have kept her, but I didn't feel that we were the best for her. So anyway, we now have a 1 year old. He has court on Monday. We'll know more after that.

Please keep praying for us and our roller coaster life.